Marriage is a very beautiful institution. It is one of the most beautiful things that can happen to anyone. However, it requires hard work from both parties. If you and your spouse put in the necessary efforts and invest equally in your marriage, the work becomes easier. There is no perfect marriage in the world, but, with the help of God, marriage can become so fulfilling that there can be a near-perfect marriage.
Some qualities have been proven to make marriages succeed. Though they are not so complicated, these qualities may simply be overlooked because on the surface they may not look like the antidote to marital struggles. Yet, an in-depth analysis reveals that they are very essential to the success of marriages.
Mutual Respect
The Bible tells us that every human being was made in the image of God. In Psalm 139 verse 14 (KJV), the Psalmist said “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” My pastor always says that, in marriage, the man is God’s son and the woman is God’s daughter. Therefore, the husband has God as his father-in-law, and his wife, who is God’s daughter, is his sister too. This means that, if you are a man and you maltreat your wife, your father-in-law who is God the creator, will not be happy with you. Men need respect from their wives all the time. As a result, if you are a wife and you fail to respect your husband, he will not be able to love you as he is supposed to. Some women want their husbands to love them but they disgrace their husbands always. Sometimes, some talk to their friends and relatives about the flaws and weaknesses of their husbands, making their husbands lose respect in the sight of these people. As a wife, try as much as possible to make your husband the king of your life, and treat him with respect and dignity, no matter what happens—It is only then will you see the best in your husband, and get the best out of him in your marriage. Therefore, both partners have to respect everything about each other and the home will be a peaceful and lovely one.
Love and Kindness
Love is the glue that holds the marriage in place and it has to be nurtured and watered every day, with both little and great acts. The Word of God makes it plain that “ 4 Love suffereth long, and is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up. 5 doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not its own, is not provoked, taketh not account of evil;” (1 Corinthians 13: 4-5, ASV) He has also said that “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.” (Ephesians 5: 26-29, KJV). In the same way, God through the Apostle Paul, spoke to the wives in this manner, in Ephesians 6: 22 (KJV) “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.” Genuine love will brighten the home, the kids will love to come home, and your spouse will always yearn to come home.
In Proverbs chapter 18 verse 22, the word of God says “22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD.” It is indeed a blessing to find a good wife. This is because, in the same book of Proverbs, in chapter 31, the qualities of a good wife are outlined. Though the man is the head of the household, he cannot do all the work alone. As a matter of fact, in these end times, as biblical prophecies are being fulfilled, things have become tough and wives have to assist their husbands with the effort they can exert, to make this run smoothly in the home.
The husband has to ensure that his family is living in a safe and decent house and neighbourhood, and protect his family all the time. He has to support his wife with household chores if possible and help his wife to become a better person than she was when they first got married. The Bible again emphasizes this issue of mutual support in the book of Ecclesiastes, Chapter 4 and verses 9-14 “9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up. 11 Again, if two lie together, they are warm; but how can one be warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him. A threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
Forgiveness
One thing that makes us human is our propensity to sin. Even God, our creator knows our state and proclaims that “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately corrupt; who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9, Revised Standard Version). Also, because of our sinful state, in Romans 3:23, the Apostle Paul says that “23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;”. In addition, King David, in Psalm 51 verse 5 wrote that “Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.” Even when there was no sin in the world, our first parents disobeyed God. All these verses testify that even God our Creator acknowledges our sinful nature. That is why there is a popular adage that goes like “To err is human and to forgive is divine.” God, through the Apostle John, has admonished us not to sin, but in the same vein, He has said that if we sin, “we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:” and that “9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Jesus Christ came to die for us because of our sins, to reconcile us to the Father (Romans 5: 10).
I want to let us understand that, no matter how righteous our partner is, they may offend us from time to time. Some might be seemingly “little sins” while others can be so huge. However, in any kind of situation, the Apostle Peter advises us that “And above all things have fervent charity [love] among yourselves: for charity [love] shall cover the multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8, KJV, parenthesis supplied). Love will not keep a record of evils committed against them. It is not easy to forgive our fallible partners. Yet, God forgives us always and we can only be His children if we obey Him and forgive our partners when they offend us.
Though difficulties, perplexities, and discouragements may arise, let neither husband nor wife harbors the thought that their union is a mistake or a disappointment. Determine to be all that it is possible to be to each other. Continue the early attentions. In every way encourage each other in fighting the battles of life. Study to advance the happiness of each other. Let there be mutual love, mutual forbearance. Then marriage, instead of being the end of love, will be as it were the very beginning of love. The warmth of true friendship, the love that binds heart to heart, is a foretaste of the joys of heaven. {AH 106.1}
The wife is to respect her husband. The husband is to love and cherish his wife; and as their marriage vow unites them as one, so their belief in Christ should make them one in Him. What can be more pleasing to God than to see those who enter into the marriage relation seek together to learn of Jesus and to become more and more imbued with His Spirit? {AH 114.2}
When husbands require the complete subjection of their wives, declaring that women have no voice or will in the family, but must render entire submission, they place their wives in a position contrary to the Scripture. In interpreting the Scripture in this way, they do violence to the design of the marriage institution. This interpretation is made simply that they may exercise arbitrary rule, which is not their prerogative. But we read on, “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” Why should the husband be bitter against his wife? If the husband has found her erring and full of faults, bitterness of spirit will not remedy the evil. {AH 116.2}
We are admonished by the apostle: “Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil, cleave to that which is good. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another.” Paul would have us distinguish between the pure, unselfish love which is prompted by the spirit of Christ, and the unmeaning, deceitful pretense with which the world abounds. This base counterfeit has misled many souls. It would blot out the distinction between right and wrong, by agreeing with the transgressor instead of faithfully showing him his errors. Such a course never springs from real friendship. The spirit by which it is prompted dwells only in the carnal heart. While the Christian will be ever kind, compassionate, and forgiving, he can feel no harmony with sin. He will abhor evil and cling to that which is good, at the sacrifice of association or friendship with the ungodly. The spirit of Christ will lead us to hate sin, while we are willing to make any sacrifice to save the sinner. {5T 171.2}