Have you ever asked yourself the rate at which Christian( not even world) marriages fall on the rocks and break into pieces within a short period of time? Some Christian marriages last for six months before divorce hits. Some last less than 2 years, and they say bye-bye to their vows. Mind you, God, angels, and men were witnesses to these vows! It’s not a JOKE.

The Bible states emphatically that God hates divorce( Read Malachi 2:16, Matthew 5, 22). Sadly, so-called followers of God also say they love divorce. Today, Christian nations like America face huge divorce rates annually. Why does this happen?

Sad Reality

The sad reality is that this is not merely a physical issue but a spiritual one too. When God’s law is downtrodden, the devil rejoices and makes his evil plan the law of the land. Who would have thought a lamb-like nation like America would pass laws supporting homosexuality, which the Bible explicitly speaks against? All these contribute to the high rate of divorce in America and all parts of the world.

However, despite all the devil’s plans to destroy the sacredness of the marriage union, we can still make it work and make our married life a very happy one.

Below are 6 proven ways we can make our marriage a happy and successful one:

1. Continue the early attentions

Do you remember the days you would like to run even miles just to please that woman you are trying very hard to win her affection for? Why are you not doing such extraordinary things any more? The mistake many people make is that after marriage, they just relax and sit back, thinking the marriage will automatically fix itself and grow. It’s not like that. You must continue the early sacrifices and attention. The time you would even pass through rain to deliver food to your husband-to-be. 

Those days when you would brag about your woman to your friends The time you had sleepless nights because of thinking about him. The devil hates your happiness, and he’ll always discourage you when you try to give life to your dying marriage. Defy all odds! Wake up and save your beautiful marriage so that you can continue to laugh and share all your life experiences with your best friend( your spouse).

2. Avoid Third-Parties in your marriage

I always say this that, third parties often collapse marriage more than we can imagine, especially in African countries. Pastors, family members, friends, and other influencers sometimes cripple budding marriages. Remember that it is your spouse you are marrying, and not your pastor or your friend. Respect your husband, and husbands too love your wives so well that, it would even be more than the time you were seeking her affection.

3. Be a good communicator( slow to speak, and quick to hear )

One of the key contributors to divorce is poor communication skills. Remember, you are dealing with an emotional being, not just some robot! Women, especially, are tender and fragile, so you should handle them with much care. Speak sweet words to her ears. Pamper her and always make time for her. When she talks, listen, even when it’s boring. Be patient when she’s nagging, and guide her so that she can overcome the nagging problem. Understand that he’s also a human being and has emotions too, just like you, although he’ll try to hide behind his masculinity. Respect him, and don’t make him angry.

The wise king once said: “A soft answer turneth away wrath:  but grievous words stir up anger.” -Proverbs 15:1

4. Know how to settle issues internally

In Africa, some women reveal so much secrets to third parties. Yes you should go to church, but it’s not everything you tell your pastor. It’s not everything you run to tell your mother. Remember, you are grown now. Apostle Paul said “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child:  but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”  -Chapter 13:11

Sometimes, there are some issues you need to confine in someone, but I would counsel you to try as much as possible to hide your marriage from public scrutiny. It could be that, the person you are opening up to even has worst marriage issues. Talk to God in prayer, you might say you need human support too: watch marriage counselling shows. You could find some on YouTube and other media sources. Watching shows and gaining marriage experience is better than revealing your marriage secrets to third parties.

5. Overcome the temptation that faces all budding marriages; comparison

Couples who have married for over 40 years do not have time to compare their spouses to others. They have come to the point in life where nothing can change their mind concerning their spouses. Couples in this range rarely face this kind of temptation.

The problem is with the newly-weds. The first year of extreme happiness passes by, and reality starts to sink in. This is when the devil gives you countless excuses to divorce your spouse and find a better one. Mind you, there’s no better one out there, you must work to protect what you have today. You could work hard and make your spouse the better one you’re tempted to go look for. The fight will come, the insults will flow, and even sometimes punches could mistakenly set in. But that should not let you think your married life is over. Sit down with your spouse, pray together. Settle the differences and make up your mind not to repeat any stupidity again. When you do these things, your marriage will jump over the mountain of problems.

6. Prayer is the Key

Another big reason why divorce is so rampant is because, people who call themselves Christians do not pray. Prayer is the key to all our life problems. The marital issues you’re facing wants to destroy your marriage because that’s how the devil wants it. Pray without ceasing and God would help you overcome all your marital challenges. God be with you and give you a happy marriage as He intended for you.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;  26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing;  but that it should be holy and without blemish. Ephesians 5:25-27

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.   23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church:  and he is the saviour of the body.   24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. . Ephesians 5:22-24

Marriage, a union for life, is a symbol of the union between Christ and His church. The spirit that Christ manifests toward the church is the spirit that husband and wife are to manifest toward each other. {CCh 127.1}

Neither husband nor wife is to make a plea for rulership. The Lord has laid down the principle that is to guide in this matter. The husband is to cherish his wife as Christ cherishes the church. And the wife is to respect and love her husband. Both are to cultivate the spirit of kindness, being determined never to grieve or injure the other. {CCh 127.2}

My brother and sister, both of you have strong will power. You may make this power a great blessing or a great curse to yourselves and to those with whom you come in contact. Do not try to compel each other to do as you wish. You cannot do this and retain each other’s love. Manifestations of self-will destroy the peace and happiness of the home. Let not your married life be one of contention. If you do you will both be unhappy. Be kind in speech and gentle in action, giving up your own wishes. Watch well your words, for they have a powerful influence for good or for ill. Allow no sharpness to come into your voices. Bring into your united life the fragrance of Christ-likeness. {CCh 127.3}

Before a man enters a union as close as the marriage relation, he should learn how to control himself and how to deal with others. {CCh 127.4}

My brother, be kind, patient, forbearing. Remember that your wife accepted you as her husband, not that you might rule over her, but that you might be her helper. Never be overbearing and dictatorial. Do not exert your strong will power to compel your wife to do as you wish. Remember that she has a will and that she may wish to have her way as much as you wish to have yours. Remember, too, that you have the advantage of your wider experience. Be considerate and courteous. “The wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits.” James 3:17. {CCh 127.5}

Remember, my dear brother and sister, that God is love and that by His grace you can succeed in making each other happy, as in your marriage pledge you promised to do. And in the strength of the Redeemer you can work with wisdom and power to help some crooked life to be straight in God. What is there that Christ cannot do? He is perfect in wisdom, in righteousness, in love. Do not shut yourselves up to yourselves, satisfied to pour out all your affection upon each other. Seize every opportunity to contribute to the happiness of those around you, sharing with them your affection. Words of kindness, looks of sympathy, expressions of appreciation, would to many a struggling, lonely one be as a cup of cold water to a thirsty soul. A word of cheer, an act of kindness, would go far to lighten the burdens that are resting heavily upon weary shoulders. It is in unselfish ministry that true happiness is found. And every word and deed of such service is recorded in the books of heaven as done for Christ. “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these My brethren,” He declares, “ye have done it unto Me.” Matthew 25:40. {CCh 127.6}

Live in the sunshine of the Saviour’s love. Then your influence will bless the world. Let the Spirit of Christ control you. Let the law of kindness be ever on your lips. Forbearance and unselfishness mark the words and actions of those who are born again, to live the new life in Christ. 177 {CCh 128.1}